The author Kerry Flinders is the owner of Personal Organizing Solutions located in Southern California. Kerry and her company are dedicated to helping others organize their clutter and their lives, eliminating unnecessary stress and helping the client to find more time in their day for the things they love. Kerry is the author of the book “Organizing With NO Budget”. You can find out more about Kerry and Personal Organizing Solutions by visiting their website at http://personalorganizingsolutions.com
Whoever coined the phrase that there is nothing new under the sun was clearly not expecting to see the latest trend in clothing for infants and toddlers. The members of the punk rock generation of the ‘80s are the parents of today and it seems that a good number of them chose to go the way of Peter Pan and simply refused to grow up. That is the only viable explanation for the aforementioned baby clothing trend: “alternative” baby wear. Parents are now able to dress their little Joeys and Siouxsies in all manner of punk-rock and biker inspired clothing designed to make even the most anti-social and anarchistic parents say, “Isn’t he a cute little punk?”
Available at various specialty shops and a number of online retailers, these clothing items intended for infants and toddlers consist primarily of Tee shirts bearing slogans like “If you can read this THE BIB FELL OFF!” and “Little Punker” colored in the requisite blacks, reds, and hot pinks. Many of these articles hail from the UK and are available in the US by mail order only. The panhandling punks of yesteryear must have a bit of cash saved up, however, at a UK site called The Rally Shack the aforementioned “bib” slogan shirt as well as a hot pink tee adorned with a pattern of skulls and crossbones that might look more fitting donning the chest of John Lydon or Iggy Pop sells for £10.00 (about $18.00 US) and is available in 6, 18, and 24 month sizes. Eighteen bucks is a pretty hefty price for a baby tee that is going to be spit up on and outgrown, but, with the number of these sites in business, there must be a market. A few other offerings follow.
This UK based site offer US, UK, European, and world versions and sells traditional and alternative baby clothes. Of particular interest are the “Jolly Roger” skull and crossbones tees, “Head Banger” tees and “hoodies” bearing both legends and slogans. Prices range from about £12.00 to £16.99 (about $22.00-$31.00 US). Yes, your 6 month old can wear a hoodie! Just like Eminem!
This American site has got to be seen to be believed. It offers everything you could want to turn your baby or toddler into a little hoodlum all under one convenient roof. In addition to the rock and pop culture inspired Tee shirts (personal favorites include the Betty Page tee, the Ramones homage tee that reads “Hey, Ho, Let’s Go,” and the disturbingly humorous tee reading “333 - Halfway to Hell”), Lucky L’il Devil offers full outfits like apron dresses and leggings that bear images like the female silhouette familiar to truckers everywhere and slogan “Daddy Drinks Because I Cry.” Prices range from $17.00-$18.00 for tee shirts, $34.00-$36.00 for apron dresses, and $17.00 for leggings.
About The Author
Kirsten Hawkins is a baby and parenting expert specializing new mothers and single parent issues. Visit http://www.babyhelp411.com/ for more information on how to raising healthy, happy children.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder Treatment
by: Anthony Kane, MD
About a year ago I wrote an article on Oppositional Defiant Disorder discussing the condition, symptoms and treatment options. This article is an update describing what is new.
-Introduction
Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is a psychiatric behavior disorder that is characterized by aggressiveness and a tendency to purposefully bother and irritate others. These behaviors cause significant difficulties with family and friends and at school or work.
-Description
Oppositional defiant children show a consistent pattern of refusing to follow commands or requests by adults. These children repeatedly lose their temper, argue with adults, and refuse to comply with rules and directions. They are easily annoyed and blame others for their mistakes. Children with ODD show a pattern of stubbornness and frequently test limits, even in early childhood.
These children can be manipulative and often induce discord in those around them. Commonly they turn attention away from themselves by inciting parents and other family members to fight with one and other.
-Behavioral Symptoms
Normal children occasionally have episodes of defiant behavior, particularly during ages of transition such as 2 to 3 or the teenage years where the child uses defiance in an attempt to assert himself. Children who are tired, hungry, or upset may be defiant. Oppositional defiant behavior is a matter of degree and frequency. Children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder display difficult behavior to the extent that it can interfere with learning, school adjustment, and, sometimes, with the child’s social relationships.
Common behaviors seen in Oppositional Defiant Disorder include:
- Losing one’s temper
- Arguing with adults
- Actively defying requests
- Refusing to follow rules
- Deliberately annoying other people
- Blaming others for one’s own mistakes or misbehavior
- Being touchy, easily annoyed
- Being easily angered, resentful, spiteful, or vindictive.
- Speaking harshly, or unkind when upset
- Seeking revenge
- Having frequent temper tantrums
Many parents report that their ODD children were rigid and demanding from an early age.
-Diagnosis
The diagnosis of ODD is not always straight forward and needs to be made by a psychiatrist or some other qualified mental health professional after a comprehensive evaluation.
If you feel your child may have ODD, there is a quick ODD Screening Test at http://addadhdadvances.com/ODDtest.html
-Causes
It is not clear what causes Oppositional Defiant Disorder. There are currently two theories.
The developmental theory suggests that ODD is really a result of incomplete development. For some reason, ODD children never complete the developmental tasks that normal children master during the toddler years. They get stuck in the 2-3 year old defiant stage and never really grow out of it.
The learning theory suggests that Oppositional Defiant Disorder comes as a response to negative interactions. The techniques used by parents and authority figures on these children bring about the oppositional defiant behavior.
-Co-morbidity
Oppositional Defiant Disorder usually does not occur alone.
50-65% of ODD children also have:
- ADD ADHD
- 35% of these children develop some form of affective disorder
- 20% have some form of mood disorder, such as
- Bipolar Disorder or anxiety
- 15% develop some form of personality disorder
- Many of these children have learning disorders
Any child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder must be evaluated for other disorders as well. If your child has ODD it is imperative to find out what are the co-existing problems. This is the key to treating the condition, as we shall soon discuss.
-Prognosis
So what happens to these children? There are four possible paths.
- Some will grow out of it. Half of the preschoolers that are labeled ODD are normal by the age of 8. However, in older ODD children, 75% will still fulfill the diagnostic criteria later in life.
- The ODD may turn into something else. 5-10% of preschoolers with ODD have their diagnosis changed from ODD to ADHD. In some children, the defiant behavior gets worse and these children eventually are diagnosed with Conduct Disorder at http://addadhdadvances.com/CDtest.html. This progression usually happens fairly early. If a child has ODD for 3-4 years and he hasn’t developed Conduct Disorder, then he won’t ever develop it.
- The child may continue to have ODD without any thing else. This is unusual. By the time preschoolers with ODD are 8 years old, only 5% have ODD and nothing else.
- The child develops other disorders in addition to ODD. This is very common.
-Treatment: Medical Intervention
There have been some recent studies that have examined the effects of certain medications on Oppositional Defiant Disorder. All the research is preliminary and just suggests that certain treatments may help.
One study examined the use of Ritalin to treat children with both ADHD and ODD. This study found that 90% of the children treated with Ritalin no longer had the ODD by the end of the study. The researchers skewed the results a bit because a number of children were dropped from the study because they wouldn’t comply with the treatment regimen. Still if these children are included as treatment failures the study still showed a 75% success rate.
There have been two studies examining the effect of Strattera on children with both ADHD and ODD. One study showed that Strattera helped with ODD, one study showed it did not help.
There was a large Canadian study that showed that Risperdal helped with aggressive behavior in children with below normal intelligence. It did not matter if the child had ADHD or not.
There was study showing that 80% of children with explosive behavior improved when given the mood stabilizer, divalproex.
There was another pilot study examining the use of Omega-3 oils and vitamin E in ODD children. Both helped the ODD behavior to some degree.
-Treatment: Psychological Intervention
Parent management training is still viewed as the main treatment for Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Our program, How to Improve Your Child’s Behavior, located at http://addadhdadvances.com/betterbehavior.html which is available online, or some other parent training program is still considered essential if you want to help your child. Also, the younger your child is when you enroll in such a program, the better the results.
-Conclusion: Advice to Parents
Currently, there is still far too little research on this very common disorder.
Medically, the most important consideration is to treat other disorders that come along with ODD. Considering that Ritalin may help alleviate the problem in 75-90% of ODD children who have ADHD, and considering that most children with ODD also have some degree of ADHD, I feel that it is very worth your while to try your ODD child on Ritalin unless you know for sure that he does not have ADHD. The other treatments may also be worth a try depending upon the nature of your child.
I feel that using Omega-3 supplements and a vitamin E supplement should be tried in all children. This is because most children are deficient in these nutrients. Even if it does not help with the ODD, it should make your child healthier.
Parent training is still the most effective means of dealing with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. The two main drawbacks of most of these programs are the expense and the availability.
Some practitioners charge $100 or more per visit and considering the program will take several months costs add up. Insurance usually will not pay for such programs. Many parents complain to me that they can not afford the program that their child so desperately needs.
In addition, these programs are not available everywhere. Over the years, numerous parents have told me that where they live there are no programs for Oppositional Defiant Children.
I created How to Improve Your Child’s Behavior to address these two problems. It allows parents to help their children regardless of where they live and at a cost that is less than one office visit. Even though it was an experiment to try to administer such a program online and to date no one else is doing this, over the past two years How to Improve Your Child’s Behavior has proven time and again to help parents gain control of their defiant children.
Get more information on Oppositional Defiant Disorder- ODD Help at http://addadhdadvances.com/betterbehavior.html
It is tough to live with children who have ODD. However, if you make sure that your child has his other problems addressed and you improve your parenting skills by enrolling in a parent training program, you can do a great deal to improve your child’s condition and his future.
Anthony Kane, MD
ADD ADHD Advances
http://addadhdadvances.com
Attention Publishers:
This article is available for your website or ezine.
For an ezine, send an email to: ODDtx@addadhdadvances.com
For a website send an email to: ODDtxhtml@addadhdadvances.com
About The Author
Anthony Kane, MD is a physician and international lecturer. Get help for your ADD/ADHD child, including child behavior advice, information on the latest ADHD treatment, and help with Oppositional Defiant Disorder at http://addadhdadvances.com.
A Special Kind Of Love
by: Kirsten Hawkins
My grandmother taught me to crochet the moment my clumsy, chubby fingers could hold a crochet hook. By the time that I was six, she handed me her sewing needles to thread for her because her eyes could no longer see the needle’s eye. When I was eight, my mother spent all of her precious off-work night-time hours making me a spring wardrobe that I can still describe in minute detail, right down to the rick-rack that trimmed the red kerchief that matched the tulip sprigged sleeveless dress. I can recall precisely the colors and patterns of the nightgowns my grandmother sewed for me. My brothers will tell you that they’ve never worn anything so warm and comfortable as Nana’s knitted socks. I even remember the weight of the stocking cap my mother knit to match the checkerboard cardigan - that matched the blue one she knit for my brother.
There is a magic in handmade clothing that transcends the colors, the styles, even the quality of the handiwork. It’s as if every stitch and every knot was imbued with the love of the hands that crafted them. And so it was only right that when I was carrying my first child, I picked up crochet hook and thread and started making the clothing she’d wear home from the hospital.
I didn’t stop there, though. Making clothing for babies is more than a way to save money or create unique clothing styles. It’s a way to surround them with love, to weave your wishes into the fabric as you shape and create each piece.
Over the years, I have sewn, knit and crocheted sweaters, sunsuits, dresses, short sets, blankets, quilts, hats and pants for all five of my children. Beginning with their homecoming outfit, each of them had special clothes that I’d designed and created just for them. I would say that it is perhaps a conceit, a fond wish of my own that my feelings about dressing my babies with my own hands would have transferred themselves to my children - except:
A month ago, I dropped by my daughter’s apartment. The baby girl I dressed in a strawberry printed romper - each stich carefully placed by hand, each with a whispered wish and a blessing for her good fortune - is 22 now, a college graduate with a home of her own. Tossed over a table in the corner is a blanket I crocheted for her when she was three from odds and ends of yarn. On her walls are pictures of herself wearing a sweater I made for her - the same sweater, at 3, at 5, at 7. The same sweater now clothes the teddy bear sitting on her dresser.
Except:
My 19 year old son, fully grown and living on his own, still owns the knit baby blanket that wrapped him on his trip home from the hospital. He creates and makes his own clothes - imaginative and unusual - and in the patches on his jeans and his jackets, I find bits and pieces of shirts and shorts and sweaters I made for him over the years.
My 15 year old has tucked away the first party dress I made for her - when she was six months old. She never said a word to me about - I found it in her ‘treasure memory box’. And the two youngest boys? At 10 and 12, they each have their favorite blanket - ones that I knit for them when they were born.
There is magic in your hands when you create clothing for your baby, the magic of a mother’s love that is never, ever completely forgotten.
About The Author
Kirsten Hawkins is a baby and parenting expert specializing new mothers and single parent issues. Visit http://www.babyhelp411.com/ for more information on how to raising healthy, happy children.
Profile of Encouraged Children
by: Carol Welsh
Walk through any mall and you will see discouraged families. The parents look weary because the children are controlling them. How did this happen?
With both parents working and returning home tired, sometimes it’s just easier to give in to the demands of the children. Eventually the pattern is set. An Audio child knows if he relentlessly demands his way, he will win. A Visual knows if she asks for your help with a project and frets over getting it done, you will do it for her rather than taking the time to help her do it herself.
A Feeler child knows if she turns on the tears every time she has a little “ouch,” and you rush to her rescue rather than just cleaning the scratch and making light of it, that she can manipulate you by woefully crying. A Wholistic knows if he has a temper tantrum if you don’t take him with you, that you might give in because the tantrum stops instantly when you do.
Encouraged children develop into adults with good self-esteem and therefore, function through their Empowering Tendencies. Discouraged children end up as adults working through their Limiting Tendencies. This means they are controlling. They found out at an early age how to control you and now they do it with others as well.
In the children’s section of Stop When You See Red, there is a table that shows parental actions that lead to discouraging results, such as a confrontation with your Audio child where you are both demanding your way. Recommended actions are then listed that lead to more encouraging results.
You can easily spot a family that has encouraged their children because they are happy and relaxed. The family members obviously enjoy being with each other and there is mutual respect. In my book I also talk about 5-star efforts, which are actions that take more effort but the rewards are worth it. Here is an excellent example: When I was shopping with my sister, I observed two pairs of siblings running around the store. One set was getting into mischief. They took toilet paper off the shelf, built a fort, and then left it, all in a matter of minutes. They opened a bottle of soda, drank some and left the rest. They made a hole in a bag of candy and took some. Where was the parent? I never did see them with a parent.
The other pair, a boy of about age 5 and his sister, about 3 ½, peeked around the corner of the aisle, laughing happily. Their faces radiated sheer joy. They took something off the shelf and ran back to their mom and put it in the cart. This continued until I realized she was letting them help her shop. It made them feel important and respected and they cheerfully rose to the occasion. They always checked first before running to get something so they wouldn’t bump into someone.
My sister stood behind the mother while she was unloading the cart filled to the brim. I walked past the checkout counter to get out of the way. I was enthralled with what I saw next. Both children stood at the end of the counter and started bagging along with the mother. Each carefully put the items in the plastic bag. Often the girl had to set the item on the floor, put the bag over it, turned it on its side and then again so the bag could be picked up the handles. If she couldn’t get the bag in the cart, she asked her mother to help who waited until she asked. Then together they lifted it up and over into the shallow basket. On the pullout shelf, the mother put litters of soda. The girl carefully placed two in a bag by standing each bottle upright on the floor side-by-side, covering them with the bag, and then asking her mother to pick it up and put it in the cart. Her mother wasn’t concerned that the bottles were upside-down in the bag.
Most of the time, the boy put items on the pullout shelf for his sister. Otherwise she couldn’t reach them. That was her workstation and he worked beside it. When they tired, they came over to the wall where I was standing. Halloween was that weekend so there were two cardboard jack-o-lanterns taped to the wall at different heights. The boy jumped and touched the lower one. His little sister tried and missed. He talked to her, I couldn’t hear what he said, and she tried again and again, each time getting closer. Finally she touched the mouth of the jack-o-lantern. He cheered and then said, “Touch the eyes.” She jumped and did! Meanwhile he was finally able to touch the higher jack-o-lantern. They both looked so pleased with themselves because they both reached their goals. I was impressed. I asked the boy how they were able to jump so high. He said simply, “Aim high, jump!”
The mother’s efforts clearly fell into the 5-star category. Maybe she could have bagged the groceries faster without their assistance while she told them to wait over by the wall. Out of boredom, they might have become restless and started pushing each other. Next you might hear, “Stop it! Behave yourselves!” And she and the children would have slipped into a discouraging situation where none felt like winners.
How much extra time did it take to show these young children what they could do rather than dwelling on what they couldn’t do? Just remember to aim high and jump at the opportunities that will develop encouraged rather than discouraged children.
About The Author
Carol Welsh, M.S,. has over 25 years’ experience as a speaker and workshop facilitator. She’s the author of Stop When You See Red (2005). Her Web site is www.stopred.com.
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