Is Personal Goal Setting REALLY Necessary?
August 30, 2005
What is your reason for setting a goal?
This is the first, and important question you need to ask yourself. Why? If your reason for setting your goal is not sincere, your motivation and enthusiasm can wane drastically as you progress on your goal path. Setting personal goals is just that - personal, and if you do not have deep-rooted reason for your goal, your chances of succeeding are reduced dramatically.
We generally set goals because we are unhappy with where we are, either in life, our job, or a relationship. As Og Mandino says, “People don’t change when they feel good. They change when they’re fed up. When things are going all right, we all tend to do pretty much what we’ve been doing. Pain pushes us to those crucial turning points. We hurt, then we finally choose. It’s that adverb finally. Enough is enough.!”
We want something better. An example is a better paying position at work, or a management position. Maybe it can be that we want to lose weight, or become healthier. Whatever it is, we generally set goals as result of wanting something better.
Animals function on instinct. They sleep, eat and procreate. That’s it.
We humans have a thinking ability. And it is with this thinking ability that we have the urge to achieve something better. But we are also an inherently lazy creature, and we tend to have a resistance to effort.
Goals help keep us motivated
When we have something to aim at, something we achieve, we usually become excited. Think of going to your favorite restaurant. While you’re getting ready, you can almost smell and taste your meal, and you are excited. It is no different when you have a goal to aim at, and this is especially relevant if you have a life goal. Each milestone that you reach, increases your excitement, aka your motivation. Especially, think of when you go on holiday. What is your level of excitement just prior to leaving on holiday, and to what level does this excitement rise shortly before leaving? And then as you progress on your journey? Using the holiday example, this excitement keeps rising the nearer you get to your destination.
Goals undoubtedly give us direction. An example here is when we want to progress in our career.
Let’s say we want to secure a management position. We increase our knowledge and experience, and as result we become more equipped for the position. It is the objective of the management position that motivates us to undergo training, for example. Our goals enable us to move forward, and moving forward can only be beneficial. Go for the gold.
Successful people are goal orientated
Whatever your definition of success is, you will find it difficult to reach that level of success without goals.
If you don’t have a target, the arrow will hit nothing.
It is very important to remember that goals are not static. As our circumstances change, it is inevitable that our goals change. The goals you had when you left school are very different to your goals ten years after school. Similarly, after marriage and children come along, your goals once again change. It is important to remember that when your circumstances change, review and, where necessary adapt your goals. The golden rule of setting your goals is to remain on your goal path.
Without a doubt, having personal goals keeps your enthusiasm up.
Using a map for our holiday
It is usual for us to consult a map when we go on holiday, and yet, sadly, for the holiday of life, we don’t consider consulting a map for this important journey. And when we don’t reach our destination, we become frustrated and annoyed. Yet, when we go on holiday, without a map, and we get lost we similarly get annoyed. And yet, this something we don’t repeatedly do. Your goals, and especially your goal path, is your map for your life.
Having goals, or at the very least, a goal, will enable you to know where you’re going in life. Goals do give us direction.
Thomas Edison is well-known for saying he didn’t fail, but found 10 000 ways it didn’t work. He had thousands of attempts over many years to invent the electric light bulb, but he knew exactly what he wanted, and his goal kept him going until he achieved it.
Oprah Winfrey was an abused child who was determined to make a better life for herself. Michelle Kwan had a goal to be the best skater in the world.
If you want proof that goal setting works, and is valuable in your life, think of musicians. They are one of the best examples of having determination in not only setting, but also achieving their goals. Athletes don’t become record holders by chance - it is only through effective goal setting. Top sales people work consciously at their goals, and as result become star performers. No-one becomes an astronaut by accident.
Every person who becomes successful in whatever field or area they choose, followed a goal path - a map to achieve their success.
Role of an effective goal setting system
If you have a dream, and want to achieve something better in life, having a goal can bring you success.
An effective goal setting system must get you on your road to success. It should also give you the tools to enable you to gain confidence in reaching your goal. There are many books and programs available that can help you set your goal. It is my belief that anyone can set a goal, but the important thing is to reach your goal.
An effective goal setting system should be a blueprint, and enable you to determine where you want to go with your life, and be an aid to keeping you on your goal path.
Having a goal, success is possible. Without goals, success is rarely possible - whatever area in your life.
About the Author
Colin Dunbar’s eaziGOAL is the ultimate goal setting program created especially for working moms and dads. “There is no reason we working moms and dads cannot reach our dream.” Full details available at http://www.eaziGOAL.com Manual, workbook, PLUS companion software. FREE newsletter.
Spending Time With Your Child
August 30, 2005
Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?
For children to get any sense that they are loved and wanted, you have to be prepared to spend some time with them. I know you are all thinking, so tell me something I don’t know. My point in all of this is how important this really is. The term "spending time with your child" gets tossed out there fairly casually. We hear it so often that after awhile we may not take it as seriously as we should. I found myself, with all of the time I have to spend with my diabetic daughter and daily diabetes care, considering that as part of my quota of time spent with my child. In a sense it is, but it’s not the kind of time that makes the relationship with your child so special. This is a difficult article for me to write because I can see some areas I need to improve in. I hope this isn’t too difficult to read. There’s no getting away from this simple truth. If you do not give them very much of your time, talking, laughing, playing, and sharing things or just generally being around listening to and enjoying them, how can they possibly get any other message than that they are not worthy of your love, time, and attention? How can they then progress to love themselves if they perceive that you always put yourself and others first, before them, and that they are apparently incidental to your life, even that they are a nuisance? Please note that I said "they perceive". What a child perceives is not always accurate. But to a child perception is reality. If they think this is how you feel, then to them, this is how you feel. This is why I think the time you spend with your child is so important. I know how much you love your child. You know how much you love you child. What’s so critical is does your child know how much you love your child? Our children need us to be interested in them and to demonstrate our love for them by spending time with them right through adolescence.
How Do We Know that Children Need So Much Time?
- The more you give, the more they want.
- If they don’t get it, they behave badly to try to get it.
Our children will need us, love us and want us more than we can imagine. We give them their sense of belonging, and security. Children can crave this so much that when it’s not given naturally and spontaneously, they will behave in what ever ways they think they have to in order to get it.
Time to Do What?
Talk
Talk about your day, their day, what you are going to do, what you are seeing on the street, what they are watching on television, what they like to do, your childhood, their relatives, their toys.
Play
Sit with them while they play, and talk to them about what they are doing.
Listen
Look at their faces when they are telling you something. If it seems important to them, stop what you are doing and sit down with them to hear it.
Quiet Time
Sit with them while they watch TV (this can be painful but important) or while they are getting ready for bed.
Share
Invite them to do something or go somewhere with you, to show you enjoy their company.
These examples give us a variety of ways to spend time with our children. We can join them in what they are doing, invite them to join in what we are doing, or do something alongside them, in parallel, talking together or just being quiet together.
Special Time for Each One.
Each child in the family needs to have special time with each parent. It doesn’t have to be a vast amount of time, or have to happen every day. But each of our children is different, and will want to have a chance to be alone with each of us. When you get right down to it sibling rivalry is competition for the parents’ attention. Individual "special" time given to each child can lead to a lot less fighting among them.
Quality Time
Quality time is the term that was developed to meet the working parent’s main problem, not being able to spend as much time as you would like at home. The idea of quality time is that it’s not how much time we spend with our children that matters, but what we do with the time we have with our children. Spending quality time means giving them our wholehearted attention, and ensuring it is constructive, productive time spent actively doing things with them. It is an important concept but we need to remember it has some limitations. By considering these limitations we can make better use of quality time. The problem with this is that it doesn’t take into consideration moods and feelings. Instead of doing something active, playing or going somewhere, our child may just feel like being quiet with us, curling up and just being together. This can be just as important to our relationship with our children as active communication. Another problem is that quality time is often scheduled. If we can’t be there at that unpredictable moment when our child decides to tell us about something the schedule falls short. By the time we get home the need may have passed. To show that we understand and to help, especially younger children, remember that there was something they wanted to tell us, we need to have a plan in place for these situations. For older children it may be as easy as a special place for a note. For younger children we can make it into a game. They might have a special stuffed animal that they leave in a certain place to let us know there was something they wanted to share. You can invent your own system. Some quality time could be spent devising the system.
"Being there" or spending time with our children doesn’t mean twenty-four-hour availability. It just means offering them some flexibility on access to meet special circumstances and listening to them when they ask for it. The results of time spent with our children is the special love and happiness in the relationship we dreamed about before we ever had them. Our children are precious. The amount of time that they are children is short. If we make good use of this short time we have, we do our jobs as parents to raise happy healthy kids.
Russell Turner is the father of a 10 year old Type 1 Juvenile Diabetic daughter. When she was first diagnosed he quickly found there was all kinds of information on the internet about the medical aspects of this disease. What he couldn’t find was information about how to prepare his family to live with this disease. He started a website http://www.mychildhasdiabetes.com and designed it so parents of newly diagnosed children would have a one-stop resource to learn to prepare for life with diabetes.
Spring Deck Prep Tips
August 30, 2005
It’s finally spring! Time to move out the patio furniture and get ready to enjoy the great outdoors.
But, before you do, make sure you clean, restore and protect your deck so you can get the most out of it during the spring and summer months ahead. Here are some deck prep tips from the experts at Wolman Wood Care Products:
? Clean the deck thoroughly to remove embedded dirt, fungus stains and gray surface wood with a formulated deck cleaner like Wolman Deck & Fence Brightener. The weathered gray wood left behind from last year’s sun exposure, black or green stains from mildew, moss and algae, or brown-black tannin bleed common on new Cedar can ruin the look of your deck. Even newly built decks can require cleaning to remove invisible surface barriers like mill glaze on new Cedar or excess wax on pressure-treated wood. These invisible barriers can prevent the adhesion of protective coatings, including colored stains and clear sealers. Wolman Deck & Fence Brightener, removes surface barriers, gray wood surfaces and even the toughest of stains and restores the wood to its natural beauty without bleaching or yellowing, like chlorine bleach can.
? Strip any deteriorating or unwanted finish. If the colored stain on your deck has seen better days ? or if you want a different look ? now is the time to strip your deck’s finish. Products like Wolman DeckStrip Stain & Finish Remover remove both oil and latex solid or semi-transparent stains and clear finishes and prepares the wood for the reapplication of protective finishes and stains. Deckstrip works fast, and can strip years of multiple coatings buildup in 15 minutes.
? Once the wood is restored and your deck is rid of any surface barriers or unwanted finishes, it should be sealed with a protective water repellent finish. You may want to apply a semi-transparent stain to enhance your deck’s appeal, or a transparent finish to let the natural wood color and texture show through. But, even if you are undecided on whether or not to stain ? or on the deck color ? it’s important, at minimum, to protect it with a clear water repellent. Water repellents stop spring showers from penetrating the wood surface, which can cause swelling, shrinking, warping and cracking. Many water repellents, including products like Wolman RainCoat, also contain a mildewcide that will impede the growth of mildew on your deck during the warm months ahead. Look for products like Wolman RainCoat, that offer a guarantee on water-repellent longevity, as they will provide longer lasting protection so you won’t have to apply a new coat every year.
Preparing your deck for spring will protect your investment in it and enhance the enjoyment of your outdoor living space. For more information on Wolman wood cleaners, strippers and water repellent finishes, call the company’s technical service department at (800) 556-7737. Or, visit the Wolman web site at www.wolman.com for more helpful deck care tips.
St Valentines Day, Festival of the Matchmakers
August 30, 2005
There are as many as eight possible Valentines Day origins and the three most likely contenders were all early church martyrs.
However, before the Christian Saints, the day started as a festival to honour Juno, Queen of the Roman deities. Juno was sister and consort of Jupiter, mother of Mars, and one of the most important of the Roman pantheon. She had many duties, each with an associated title, as a protector of the Roman people she was Juno Regina, advisor to those about to marry as Juno Moneta and as goddess of Roman women and childbirth, Juno Lucina. From her title “Juno Moneta” we get the word “money” because the Roman mint was built close to one of her temples. For most Romans she was a protector of women as the goddess of marriage, fertility and all aspects of pregnancy and childbirth
Her day was 14 February and the following day was the Feast of Lupercalia.
Lupercalia began at the Ides of February. Members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification.
Young men then sliced the goat’s hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips to encourage fertility in the coming year.
Lupercalia was also celebrated as a young lovers’ festival with a novel matchmaking game. On the eve of the festival of Lupercalia the names of the eligible daughters of Rome were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl’s name from the jar and the two would then be partners for the duration of the festival.
In 496 CE, Pope Gelasius changed the date of the Lupercalia festival to Saint Valentine’s Day, February 14. Associating the matchmaking feast with the martyrdom of Valentine was convenient because the days were almost identical.
So traditionally, mid-February was a Roman time to meet and court prospective mates. More than fifteen hundred years later we continue the tradition
In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their Valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling, that you are ready to fall a victim to romantic love. Is your heart on your sleeve ?
Susanna Duffy is a Civil Celebrant, grief counsellor and mythologist. She creates ceremonies and Rites of Passage for individual and civic functions, and specialises in celebrations for women. http://celebrant.yarralink.com
How To Establish A Base Tan Without Getting Burned
August 30, 2005
Lets face it. A nice tan makes you look and feel great. Plus, it can hide ugly cellulite and also make you appear thinner!
If you are going on a trip or you simply want to look good for an event that’s coming up, it’s important to establish a base tan.
Here are some 10 indoor tanning steps to help you achieve a nice base tan without getting burned*.
By the way, if you are hesitant about using an indoor tanning bed but want to get a tan, try a UV-free spray tan like Mystic Tan.
Otherwise, the steps below will help guide you through the UV indoor tanning process:
1. Be careful if you are on any prescription medications: blood pressure medications, antibiotics, skin problem medications are just a few categories of drugs you preferably should not be taking if you are tanning or spending lots of time outdoors. Refer to the photosensitizing medication chart in your local tanning salon to be sure the medications you are taking are not listed. These medications can effect the results of your tanning, making it more difficult to tan and you are more prone to burning.
2. Always use a good quality indoor tanning lotion. It will help your skin to absorb the UV, which will aid in the tanning process. There are also special ingredients that stimulate melanin production, such as Tyrosine, which will give you the most out of every tanning session. Your skin tends to dry out during the tanning process and if you don’t use a good quality indoor tanning lotion, your skin will exfoliate faster, become more dry and flaky, and you will lose your tan faster. So the bottom line: for a deeper, darker, longer lasting tan, you need to use quality indoor tanning lotion. It’s best to apply indoor tanning lotion immediately prior to your session or 1-2 hours prior is even better if you can. Applying it ahead of time allows your skin to absorb the lotion better so you will get the best results from your tanning session.
3. Apply after tan lotion as well to take care of your skin and keep it moisturized. Apply it twice daily at a minimum to keep your skin happy, once in the morning and again at night before bed. This also can enhance your tan and make it longer lasting- the key to a great tan is healthy skin!
4. If you are just beginning to tan, remember to start out conservative. Whatever you do, you don’t want to burn- you cannot tan on top of a burn and you will have to start over. The old saying "I always burn first and then I tan" is completely false, it simply does not have to be this way. If you burn, your skin is telling you that it’s getting too much sun, and then you will peel. So start out with a low number of minutes and work your way up. If you have fair skin but do have the ability to tan, you should not go more than 6-7 minutes your first time in a standard 20 minute tanning bed (also known as a Level 1 tanning bed). For stronger beds with shorter tan times, you would go for even less minutes.
5. Go once every 24-48 hours to build your base. Depending on how well your skin is doing, you can decide whether you can go once a day or once every other day. A good rule of thumb is if your skin is not pink within the 24 hours after your session, you can probably go again the next day without any problem. If your skin is pink, feels dry and itchy, or you get a rash, this is a signal that you went for too many minutes and need to take a break until it feels better and then start over again.
6. Once you build up your base, you really don’t need to tan as often. So depending on the type of bed you are using, you should only go 2-3 times per week to keep your tan, even less in stronger beds. This is where I see many people go overboard, tanning every day when it is really not necessary. Many people enjoy the relaxation time that tanning provides, but tanning too often can and will speed up your aging process and potentially cause other skin ailments over a long period of time. Just like everything else in life, moderation is key!
7. Wear eye goggles at all times! Many people think that putting a towel over their face will block the UV rays, but it doesn’t and repeated UV exposure can cause major eye problems later in life. Would you rather be blind or have lighter eyelids? I think I would choose the latter, but that is just me. For your own safety, please wear the eye goggles!
8. Since indoor tanning does not require the use of a bathing suit, use a towel to cover those ’sensitive’ areas that don’t see the sun very often if you want to tan all over. In the beginning, try covering those areas for half the session and see how it goes. Gradually you can remove the towel earlier and earlier until you don’t need to use one anymore. The towel acts as a filter but won’t completely block the UV rays, so you are still getting the tanning process started.
9. To avoid getting creases or pressure tanning lines, you should move your limbs into different positions during your session. For the first half, try laying down with both arms extended above your head and legs apart. For the second half, bring your arms down next to your sides but away from your body, and re-position your legs by raising one knee slightly for a half of the remaining time, and then the other leg do the same thing.
10. Try to avoid wearing make-up, deodorant, or other perfumes prior to tanning. Some of these things can make your skin more sensitive and possibly have a bad reaction with your skin when exposed to UV. If you wear a lot of deodorant, you may notice that you are not tanning as well around your armpits, and you need to remove this prior to tanning.
When it comes to tanning, every person’s skin type is different and results will vary. Consult with your local tanning salon for a skin type analysis (from a Smart Tan Certified Tanning Consultant) so you can get a good idea of where to start.
* Also, ask your doctor for his or her advice if you have any specific medical questions or concerns.
©2005 Angela Maroevich
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Angela Maroevich (everyone calls her Angie) is a salon owner, entrepreneur, and athlete. You can review more of her articles on tanning and skin care for free at http://www.tanning-advisor.com.
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Home Air Filters: Knowing Which One to Choose
August 30, 2005
Since air filters are one of the bests tools for eradicating allergens from your home, more people are using them than ever before. The trick is to find the one that works best for you, depending upon your specific needs. Before going shopping, arm yourself with some facts, so that you’ll be more prepared to choose an air filter, rather than listening to various sales pitches from merchants who are interested in making a quick buck. Of the five major types of air filters, here’s a quick look at four of them ? one type (the ozone air filter) is not environmentally friendly, and consumers are not encouraged to purchase filters of this type.
Mechanical Filters ? One of the best types of mechanical filters is the HEPA filter, which forces air through a special screen that traps allergens such as pollen, dust mites and pet dander. If there are any smokers in the house, a HEPA filtered device will also trap smoke and other airborne irritants. Those devices which are unable to trap at least 90% of these particles are ineligible to qualify as a HEPA filtering device. When shopping for mechanical filters of this type, be sure that they truly meet HEPA filtering standards, and that you’re not purchasing a cheap imitation that will offer substandard performance.
Gas Phase Filters ? This type of air filter is not used for the removal of allergens in the home, but rather for removing odors and other types of pollutants, such as gasses from perfume, cooking, paint or building materials. In a home that needs to eliminate allergies which are triggered by exposure to certain odors, this would be sufficient, rather than the HEPA filter, which is designed to remove absolute allergens that are not gas based.
Electronic Filters ? Of the different types of electronic filters, the most effective at trapping allergens is the style which uses electrostatic precipitators with a fan. In the case of electronic filters, electric charges are used to attract and trap allergens and other contaminants. Strive to find one that includes collecting plates so that the particles are trapped within the unit. Otherwise, you’ll end up having to clean all of the surfaces within the home, because the allergens will stick to them. In the case of self-contained units that include plates, they’ll also need to be cleaned, but this is a much smaller task than cleaning all of the surfaces of the home’s interior.
Hybrid Filters ? Simply put, these air filters offer a combination of those characteristics which are found in both electrostatic and mechanical filters. These may be preferred by those with allergens other than gas based contaminants, but offer trapping devices for containing allergens.
In addition to knowing the types of air filters, you’ll also need to consider things such as which types of contaminants will be removed from the air; the efficiency of the filter when compared to HEPA standards; whether the size of the air filter system will be large enough to continuously clean the allotted space at least every six minutes; the clean air delivery rate of the filter; whether the unit is silent or noisy; and how easy or difficult it may be to change the filter, when necessary.
When you approach the purchasing of an air filter system with this information in mind, you’ll be far more likely to come home with the one that can adequately clean your home’s interior with little or no fuss while eliminating the right types of contaminants that plague your family.
Jonathan Chase (a lifelone allergy sufferer) is the creator of http://www.home-air-filter-edu.com, which provides free information to individuals interested in air purification and reducing their allergy symptoms.
