Friendships - Helping Children Develop Friendship Skills
August 31, 2006
Reasearch into children’s friendships shows that those children who are able to form friendships when they start school are happier at school and also learn better.
More significantly, a positive beginning to friendships has long-term implications for social and indirectly academic success.
Developing and maintaining friendships is a dynamic process. Most children experience some type of rejection from their peers throughout childhood. One study found that even popular children were rejected about one quarter of the time when they approached children in school.
Most children recover from such rejection. They move on and form constructive, worthwhile relationships but some children need help.
The results of number of studies indicate that children can be taught friendships skills. The strategies are simple and revolve around teaching children a range of friendly behaviours such as: talking with others while playing, showing an interest in others, smiling, offering help and encouragement when needed, a willingness to share and learning how to enter a game or social situation. It is also useful to teach some children alternatives to fighting and arguing when there is disagreement and conflict within groups.
Gender impacts on the ability to make friends. Professor Miraca Gross from the University of NSW has found that girls are further advanced along the stages of friendship than boys. Her research also indicates that gifted children were further advanced along the continuum of friendship behaviours than their peers. They look for more intimate friendships at a far younger age than their peers. This challenges the perception that only gifted children have poor social skills ? it seems that they have a different concept of friendships than those around them.
Children form friendships inside and outside of school and their regular day settings. It has been noted by some researchers that children who appear to have no friends at school frequently have networks of friends outside school.
It seems that having friends outside school can be quite an insulating factor to teasing and bullying that can occur within the school gate.
Parents often become quite concerned about an apparent lack of friends that a child has compared to a sibling or a friend. One research project indicated that children on average have only two significant friendships at any one time. Anecdotal evidence suggests that seconds frequently have more friends than the elder siblings and only children prefer one-on-one friendships to group relationships.
Generally parents need to do little more than provide social situations for children to build and maintain friendships. Involvement in some activities (but not so many that a child’s life is full), opportunities for visits to friend’s homes and to have friends visit your home and some help making sense some of the less satisfactory social situations a child may encounter are the main fare for parents in this area.
However some coaching on how to make and keep friends may be desirable when children really do have difficulty making and keeping friends.
Michael Grose is The Parent Coach. For seventeen years he has been helping parents deal with the rigours of raising kids and survive!! For information about Michael’s Parent Coaching programs or just some fine advice and ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au
Dream Board
August 31, 2006
DREAM IT, CREATE IT, BECOME IT
If you’ve been reading my newsletter for awhile, you know that I continue to incorporate and teach the ‘how to’ principles behind successfully achieving our goals and dreams. One important piece of wisdom I’ve gained is that nothing happens, no forward steps are taken until we first have a dream. But even when we have a dream, we can’t begin manifesting it until some important first steps are taken to lay the groundwork. To make a dream come true, what’s interesting is that we don’t have to initially know HOW we are going to do it. Instead, the first critical steps to achieving a dream are:
A clear and precise vision of the dream.
Sort of the big picture or overview of what you want.
"First we conceive, then we believe."
Articulation and expression of the dream.
Exchanging the feelings of fear, uncertainty, failure,
or overwhelm, with ones of excitement and joy.
Creating belief in your dream.
For example, you might have the dream of permanently overcoming your eating behaviors. Yet, until you articulate it, then begin regularly seeing and feeling the joy of it, the dream remains vague and distant. If the feelings surrounding your dream are ones of apprehension, fear, overwhelm, or indecision, your dream doesn’t have a chance of developing. As long as your dream stays enveloped in a fear state, your chances of achieving it are minuscule. To make a dream come true, there’s some work to be done first on your thinking patterns, then your emotions, and eventually you build to a belief in the dream and yourself.
WHAT IS A DREAM BOARD?
One simple, and powerful, way of making your dreams come true is to create a visual representation of your goal outcome. Dream Boards are great tools to help see your goals vividly and stimulate your brain. A Dream Board is a visual picture of the dreams you have for your life. A dream board is a large poster board onto which you place pictures of what you want to create.
For example, if your goal is overcoming an eating disorder or losing weight, take a little time and ask yourself some meaningful questions.
What would achieving your goal mean to you?
How would it look?
How would life be different?
What strengths would you have?
What would achieving your goal bring into your life?
Notice what images come to mind. From these images you can begin to write down the goal you wish to achieve. Remember to make it positive and in the present tense. The next step is to create a visual embodiment of your goal. The key is finding pictures that will reflect you already in possession of your desired goals. Just as writing down goals will help you crystallize success in your mind, so will visualizing through your Dream Board.
WHY DO DREAM BOARDS WORK?
Have you ever heard that a picture is worth a thousand words? Looking at the pictures which illustrate your success, over and over again, will help manifest your dream. Repetition is key here. Recall all of the advertisements you see on television and in magazines. Ask yourself, "Why would a company spend millions of dollars in television advertisements to sell a .99 cent hamburger?" The answer is that they spend that kind of money because it is proven that the repeated images of their hamburger will change your spending and eating behavior.
Marketing research has confirmed that people will buy just about anything, if they are shown that image enough times. For one person that may be just one or two viewings. For another person, it may be one thousand repeated images. How many impressions will it take for you to achieve your goal? View your Dream Board as often as needed and for as long as needed to help you begin to believe in your dream.
CREATE DREAM BOARD
Use Dream Boards with your goals to increase your success. The following are your needed tools to create your Dream Board:
1. Purchase a large poster board in whatever color you like. Also pick up a glue stick and a pair of scissors.
2. Gather an assortment of old magazines, pictures, catalogs, and snap shots.
3. Take some time and create a space where you can relax and have fun. Brew a cup of hot tea, light a candle, put on music that speaks to you. Breath deeply, close your eyes, and imagine the goal you wish to achieve. Allow your senses to play with your dream.
4. Now open your eyes and begin to view the magazines. Tear out any pictures, words, phrases, and thoughts that inspire you. Don’t think about it too much. Simply go through the magazines and remove anything that grasps your attention. Pull out pictures, images, words, and phrases that excite and motivate you to reach your destiny. Along with the pictures, it also helps to add motivational statements that spell out the goals you wish for yourself.
5. Take your time. Give yourself a few hours or an evening to do this project. After you feel you’ve reached a stopping point, use the scissors and cut out the words and images.
6. After you have cut out the pictures and phrases, glue or paste them on your poster board.
7. Have fun doing it! Enjoy yourself! Let you imagination be your guide. If you really want to make this a fun experience, invite several of your closest friends over to join you in the process. You could create a Dream Board party.
8. Once your board is completed, activate your Dream Board: put it in a place that you can look at it often for a month or two. Perhaps in your office or in your bedroom where you will view it daily. Or maybe even tack it to the ceiling above your bed. As time passes, feel free to add to your board, or paste over what doesn’t work. Make it come alive by dwelling on it every now and then when inspired. You could make it the first thing you look at in the morning, and the last thing you view before going to sleep. As you concentrate on these visual images of what you want, add a sense of peace and joy. Smile. Inhale the sensation of you having exactly what you want. Allow your subconscious mind to help you achieve your goals.
Copyright 2005, Dr. Annette Colby, all rights reserved.
Dr. Annette Colby, RD
Nutrition Therapist & Master Energy Healer
Annette@AnnetteColby.com
972.985.8750
“Opening Creative Portals to Success”
For free inspirational newsletter, articles & info visit: http://www.LovingMiracles.com
The Proper Use of Comic Book Supplies Will Help You Maintain a Top-Notch Collection
August 31, 2006
If you want to keep your comic book collection in tiptop shape, comic book supplies will become part of your collecting life. As soon as a magazine is printed there are natural environmental forces going to work to try and destroy the ink and the paper. You have put in a lot of time, effort and enjoyment in acquiring all your comics. You don’t want them to turn back to the dust and elements from which they came do you? So the proper use of comic book supplies is essential.
Elements such as humidity, temperature, pollutants, human skin oils and even the chemicals of the printed materials themselves, will start to deteriorate and discolor your comic books from day one. Comic book supplies and tools that have been developed over the years to help us combat these natural forces are de-acidification paper, polymer type storage bags, stiff backing material, storage boxes and desiccants (dehumidification materials). Not only will these comic book supplies protect your comics for your own enjoyment, they will add to reinforce the future value of each comic book.
Most all of these comic book supplies can typically be located down at your local comic book shop. But as I have discovered lately, there can be a world of difference in preservation abilities depending on what materials are used in the manufacture of comic book supplies. Quite typically what you may find downtown will be of sufficient protective quality to protect your comics for quite a while. Although, polybags, to put your comics into, are quite common and fairly cheap, Mylar bags are definitely the way to go. They will protect for 100 years (that may be a little overboard) as opposed to 2 or 3 years for poly.
There has been a lot of elaborate science, particularly chemistry, which has gone into comic book supplies preservation material manufacturing the last several years. MicroChamber material has been developed that will increase preservation from de-acidification and environmental breakdown for a vastly superior time period as opposed to typical comic book supplies materials available today. Beware though, comic book supplies manufactured with this new material can become quite costly. But if you have some serious collector’s items, which you feel are worth a significant amount of cash, isn’t the investment worth it? It is also no secret that CGC uses these comic book supplies materials in every comic book they grade.
I have created a page at my comic book site, which incorporates links to some rather technical scientific articles on preservation and using MicroChamber materials. You can read an in-depth discussion at
www.comic-book-collection-made-easy.com/comic-book-supplies.html .
Be forewarned though, You may need a moderate understanding of chemistry and physics to completely follow some of the discussions. But the articles will open your eyes to what is available in the comic book industry for comic book supplies preservation supplies these days.
Now if you have a rather rare back issue that may well have a high dollar value, here is a process worth considering. De-acidification products are usually used to neutralize acids in the paper prior to storage of most paper products of a pulp nature. This is not to be taken lightly, as it is considered by most to be an extensive form of restoration. The current understanding of the process is that the staples are removed and the sheets are submerged, film developer style, in a bath of de-acidification material. Then the entire book is rebuilt with new staples. This process can cost around $50 per comic book, when done by a professional, but will restore and increase the life expectancy of your comic book by many years. This process, in my opinion, should only be considered for already deteriorated comics that may have a considerable future worth if restored.
One final item to consider, especially if you live in a high humidity area is the use of descants as part of your comic book supplies arsenal. A desiccant is a chemical sieve for water, and is available for industry use in small packets or in buckets. For our purposes an 8-oz can (that looks like you’d keep a grasshopper in) can be simply put inside the box to absorb moisture and indicates when it is full by changing from crystal colored to pink. These same cans can then be reused by baking them for 3-4 hours in an oven at about 350 F. Each canister can cost around $9-$10 from one supplier called GAYLORDMART. 1 canister per short box and 2 per long box should be sufficient. Another consideration is the little packets typically found in a box of shoes. These are even more inexpensive, but would require further research to insure no harm would come to each comic book.
So as you build your valuable comic book collection, you will want to put some serious consideration into the comic book supplies that you will need. Materials and supplier source will become important variables in your overall decisions. I will have more interesting topics and sources from time to time at my site, so come on over and visit. You may even want to bookmark it.
Dave Gieber owns and edits a website built around one of his childhood passions. Learn the basic essentials to comic book collecting success. To receive your free 5-part mini course visit: Comic Book Supplies
Decorating your Workplace with Tropical Office Furniture
August 31, 2006
Decorating your Workplace with Tropical Office Furniture
by: Lee Rubenstein
If you love the tang of salt in the air, the soft whisper of nearby waves, and the crunch of sand between your toes, what better way could there be to create a workspace that you truly enjoy using than by decorating with tropical office furniture. Tropical surroundings inspire creativity and create a relaxed and productive atmosphere for your home office or place of business. Innovative pieces of office furniture “tropical” - such as lovely computer armoires and printer cabinets - give your workplace an elegant look with the practical benefit of helping you to keep organized. Here is a guide to choosing Hawaiian computer armoires, Bali file cabinets, and other types of office furniture, tropical style.
Materials Used in Office Furniture - Tropical Vegetation and Construction Techniques
Three terms used to describe materials that are commonly found in office furniture “tropical” style are wicker, rattan, and bamboo. Wicker actually refers to a kind of furniture building technique where strands of grasses or vines are woven together. This technique creates durable and lightweight computer armoires and other office furniture that is also environmentally friendly. Rattan is a tropical tree that grows around other trees in a jungle. Bamboo, on the other hand, is a kind of thick-skinned grass with a hollow center.
Both rattan and bamboo can be used for the structural elements of office furniture “tropical” style, whereas rattan is generally used for wicker style construction. Wicker is commonly used as decoration on the sides of tropical style computer armoires, the sides of writing desks, or the padded backs of chairs.
Selecting High Quality Office Furniture, Tropical Style
When selecting tropical computer armoires and other office furniture, tropical realities are very important. The hollow nature of bamboo means that high-quality bamboo furniture is usually wrapped to prevent splitting over time. Rattan also tends to be more flexible and durable, meaning that it is more commonly used in today’s office furniture. Tropical rattan may have knobby joints, and is often wrapped for a smooth appearance.
The thickness of the individual strands of rattan will influence both the price and quality of your office furniture. Tropical rattan has an ideal diameter of about one and a half inches. High-quality rattan computer armoires and other office furniture should have a smooth and even finish, free of blotches and spotting. The most secure method of securing rattan used in tropical office furniture is glue, followed by screws. Staples and nails tend to come loose over time.
By understanding the materials used in computer armoires and other office furniture, tropical style, you should be well equipped to add the flair of the islands to your own workplace.
dlgallerygifts@digitalpipelines.com
The Face of the Waters
August 31, 2006
The story of creation begins with water. Water is an essential nutrient in our diet, but many people fail to address this important component of health. While part of the problem can be addressed by consuming foods such as fruits and vegetables that are naturally rich with water, taking in additional water is also important.
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. Genesis 1:1-2
An amazing discovery was made in 2003. Lurking far below the surface of the ocean, an unusual squid was sighted with 20-foot long tentacles. It is estimated that only a very small percentage of the planet has been explored, and most of that is under water! We constantly hear about the "secrets of the deep" - the amazing life forms that the ocean displays to us, but we forget about the magic of our own bodies. Water is essential for health and nutrition. A co-worker asked me the other day, "How much water should I be taking?"
More than 70% of the Earth’s surface is covered by water (less than one percent of that water is suitable for human consumption). In excess of 75% of the human body is water. A coincidence? Maybe. When you measure your body fat, the amount of fat is called "fat mass" and the amount of remaining mass is called "lean mass." Many people mistake lean mass for muscle - in reality, the majority of that lean mass is water and skeletal tissue - typically less 1/8th is actual muscle mass!
In the human body, water lubricates joints and organs. It maintains muscle tone. Water keeps skin soft. Water regulates body temperature, filters out impurities, and keeps the brain working properly. Water transports nutrients to and from cells. While the human body can store energy as glycogen, fat, and tissue, it cannot "store" water - the body uses its own water supply and expects a constant resupply of fresh water to function. Water is critical in moving nutrients into and out of a cell, an action known as the "ion pump". When you take in the improper balance of sodium and potassium or do not drink adequate water, your body will increase a hormone and try to "retain" water by keeping your kidneys from filtering it. Ironically, one of the best ways to stop retaining water is to drink more water!
While humans can survive without food for several weeks (documented cases have shown lengths of up to two months), we can only survive a few days without water. Thirst is a signal that your body needs to be re-hydrated, but by the time you are thirsty it’s already too late. Just a fraction of a percentage drop of your body’s water supply can result into huge performance decreases. Even slight dehydration can be critical. In the recent sports season, a few deaths resulted from dehydration.
Contrary to popular belief, "chugging" a gallon of water is not going to provide your body with the water it needs. When too much water floods your system at once, your body will pass most of it on to your bladder, and only absorb a slight amount. Weight in the stomach is a signal for digestive processes to begin, and a number of biological chemicals enter your stomach and change the pH balance. This can result in indigestion and stomach pain. The best way to take water is to steadily sip it throughout the day. You should also eat plenty of fruits and vegetables - most of the produce you eat is filled with water, and the body can process this water very efficiently.
So - how much water? There are a million theories and equations. I’ve heard to drink "eight cups a day," which is better than nothing, but how can every adult, with so much variety of size, shape, metabolism, exercise habits, etc, require the exact same amount of water? Then there is the complicated equation that involves computing your basal metabolic rate and energy expenditure. I had to throw that one out, too - who wants to run a computer program every day just to figure out their water needs? I just prefer to drink like a fish and then I’m done with it. Just kidding.
What I’ve found is two ways for computing water intake that both work incredibly well. The first is a little too vague for some people to follow, but very effective - it is recommended by nutritionist Will Brink. Will says to drink enough water to have two or three absolutely clear urinations per day. If you do not have these clear urinations, then either you are not drinking enough water, are not eating healthily or have some type of infection or other illness. For a normal, healthy adult, two or three clear urinations is a great "ruler." If you do not have these, then increase your water intake until it happens.
If that is a little too general or explicit for you, another way is to take your weight and divide it in half. This is a "baseline" amount of ounces to drink every day. For every cup that you drink that is not water, drink a cup that is water. For every bout of exercise, drink a cup before and after, and one extra cup for every hour that you exercised (round up!). That’s it. Let’s take me as an example.
If I weighed in at 200 pounds, 200 / 2 = 100 ounces of water, or about 12 cups.
Let’s say I also ran on the treadmill for 30 minutes. One cup before, one cup for the exercise, and one cup after is three cups total. 12 + 3 = 15 cups.
I drank two cups of coffee, so I should have two extra cups of water. 15 + 2 = 17.
That’s it - today’s water requirement for me is 17 cups! And I have no problem getting those in - I have an extra large mason jar that holds about 64 ounces. I fill these up and keep them full all day long. I sip them constantly. I probably end up drinking between one to two gallons today because I love my coffee and my exercise.
The type of water to drink is the subject of much debate. I prefer filtered tap water because of the potential for harmful agents in "raw" tap water - although many health gurus recommend tap water due to the fact that they provide plenty of vitamins and minerals. Keep in mind that if you drink too much non-filtered water, you may increase your chances of acquiring kidney stones if there are many foreign materials that your body has to filter out. When you look at a water filter before you toss it out, that is exactly what your body’s filter - the kidneys - would have had to process as well. Distilled water is also an option.
Now go out and drink some water!
Jeremy Likness is an International Health Coach and motivational speaker. After losing 65 pounds of fat, he discovered his true vision to coach thousands around the world to better health. A Certified Fitness Trainer and Specialist in Performance Nutrition, Jeremy is the author of the internationally-selling e-Book, Lose Fat, Not Faith and the companion 5-CD set. Jeremy has been published in major online publications including Tom Venuto’s Fitness Renaissance and Bodybuilding.com. Jeremy’s approach is unique because he focuses on fitness from the inside out. Visit Jeremy online at Natural Physiques.
Raising A High Maintenance Child
August 31, 2006
Do you have a high maintenance child?
"Thank goodness my second child wasn’t born first. I would have stopped at one child if he was my first," said a mother at a recent parenting seminar.
Many parents can relate to this sentiment. Nature has a way of evening out the score for parents. If you have an easy first born then hang on to your hat because chances are the second or third or fourth born will bring you back to reality.
Most families have one child who takes up more of a parent’s time, energy and mindspace than others. These high maintenance children have all sorts of misbehaviours to keep their parents busy or in their service. They may whinge or whine to get their own way. They may interrupt you just when you have started a conversation or settled down for a chat on the telephone. They may even embarrass you in front of your friends or begin to pull the cat’s tail just as you settle to breastfeed a younger sibling. They can be tearful, self-indulgent, argumentative, bossy and just plain stubborn.
And what’s worse, they are often only high maintenance kids for their parents. Take them to creche’, pre school or school and the demands for attention reduce dramatically. "How was she today?" you ask as you pick up your child at the end of the day. You feel crest-fallen when the adult in charge replies, "Not a problem. She was great!" But worse, you know when you get home the demands on your time and attention will begin and they won’t cease until she (or you) falls asleep.
High maintenance kids are demanding, exasperating and exhausting. They also take use up your time and energy that you would like to devote to your other children. You would love to spend more time with Perfect Pete but Turbo Terry, Argumentative Aaron or Whining Willemina just keep doing those things that they do so well.
So what’s the solution? What is the cure? That’s a hard one. There is no magic pill for parents. Yes, some children who are diagnosed with ADHD are given a pill regularly in the form of ritolin. These little pills have become very popular over the last decade as the number of children diagnosed with ADHD has increased dramatically. Only recently have we as a community begun to question the wisdom of keeping up a supply of this drug to children. None of my children have had ADHD so I would not dare to point a finger at any parent who must live with a child with full-blown, A grade ADHD. I take my hat off to your dedication and persistence as you must develop this if you are to live with such a child.
But most high maintenance child don’t fall into this category. Many just need to be weaned off their parent’s attention. We become so adept at responding to these kids’ misbehaviours that attending to them becomes habitual. So try breaking the habit of giving attention when they misbehave. Now that’s hard. When they want your attention do something completely different. But be ready for their attention-seeking stuff to escalate. It always does. Ignore the whining and it will increase in volume. Ignore a child’s constant interruptions while you are on the telephone and be prepared for an ear-splitting shriek to contend with or even a mess to clean up. It is parents who generally experience the consequences of a high maintenance’s child’s behaviour. That is the way of high maintenance children.
But you have to change your own way of reacting so your child doesn’t get his jollies from keeping you busy with him or her. Most parents never do this because the reactionary habit is ingrained and the behaviour will escalate so we give up in the face of increased misbehaviour. Misbehaviour will generally get worse before it gets better. It is the norm when dealing with high maintenance children. That’s why they are such hard work to raise. Alternatively, you can keep giving them heaps of B-grade attention when they are less than perfect and my hunch they will still grow up to be well-adjusted adults. It is just you as a parent who has a hard time of it in the meantime.
Michael Grose is The Parent Coach. For seventeen years he has been helping parents deal with the rigours of raising kids and survive!! For information about Michael’s Parent Coaching programs or just some fine advice and ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au
