Gardens come in different varieties like the plants you find in them. There are several gardening tips that can be used for all type of gardens.
1.Mulching protects your garden topsoil from being blown away. It also provides nutrients as it decomposes and improves the appearance of your gardens. Mulching has other benefits and is one of the most recommended gardening tips by gardeners and farmers alike.
2.Healthy plants are more disease resistant. Plant are like people, a person with a strong immune system can combat diseases. A healthy plant does the same.
3. Pests can be eradicated by cleaning the plant with a watery solution of soap. Just make sure to rinse after. This gardening tip is best heeded for fruit bearing trees or edible plants.
4. Using compost fertilizers are a great way to have healthy plants. It is also a great way to save money on expensive fertilizers. Non -organic fertilizers also tend to leave chemical residues that can accumulate in garden soils and harm not only the plants but the gardeners as well. They cause toxins to go to the water supplies. Another gardening tip recommended not just by farmers and gardeners but also by environmentalists.
5. There are several plants that are only suitable for a specified climate, a certain kind of soil or can only grow with certain plants. You have to know what plant grow in the conditions you have in your area this is for you to avoid unnecessary purchases. This is a money saving gardening tip.
6.Landscaping is a good investment which can double the value of your home. This is one gardening tip that can earn you money.
7. Growing grass on bare ground is an easy way to make your home look better and appreciate in value. This is one gardening tip that promotes earning money while growing grass legally.
8. Aside from looking great in your home, trees also provide some sort of protection from direct sunlight exposure and strong winds.
9. Vines on the walls, fences and overhead structures also would offer some protection and would also look great.
10.Flowers are beautiful, but they are also expensive. Get one that is resistant to many elements. Flowers from your local community already have developed resistance to conditions present in your area.
11.For most gardens plants, their roots go only as deep as 6 inches. Putting fertilizer deeper than that would be a waste of money. Put them shallower as they seep down when the plants are being watered.
12.Earthworms are important to plants. They till and aerate the soil for the roots to breathe. Non-organic fertilizers can kill them. This gardening tip dates back to the old days of gardening.
13. Having several kinds of insects that are beneficial to your garden would be good. These insects can be encouraged to stay by having diverse plants in your garden.
14. Spot spraying weeds with household vinegar, instead of using commercial weed-killers, can eradicate them. This is another environment friendly gardening tip.
15. Avoid putting too much mulch on tree trunks, this would encourage unwanted pests to reside on them.
16. Use plant varieties that are common to your area or have been taken from an area with similar conditions.
17. Be sure to know the plants that are poisonous. If you are intent on growing them, make sure to have the necessary cure available in your household. Take note of this gardening tip, it can save your life.
18. The best time to water plants is during mornings.
19. Before planting a new plant in your garden, you must consider its height and size when it matures. This garden tip can help you save money in the future.
20. Newly transplanted plants may require special attention during its first week. This is to reduce the stress and shock it got during transplantation.
21.Plants are living entities. If you want them to grow in your garden you have to treat them as such. They need to be taken care of. They are like your pets, you look out for them. In return you get that feeling of contentment watching them thrive.
A good way to take care of them is to consider that plants might have some feelings too.
About The Author
Gerardas Norkus
Subscribe to “Gardening Secrets Unearthed” 7-part e-mail course from http://GardeningSecretsAndTips.com! Discover the keys to having a garden a professional landscaper would envy.
Your face is the first thing that people notice when they meet you. So, it is no wonder that skin care is big business! Millions are spent each year to treat acne, under eye circles, wrinkles, discolorations, and a variety of other ailments. If you are in the market for a skin care line, there are a few things that you should consider before settling on a product. First you need to look at the type of ingredients the product contains, and then find out what works best for your particular skin type. So, get ready to put your best face forward!
A good skin care product is only as good as its ingredients. Make sure to read the label before you buy. If you are unable to pronounce anything on the bottle, move on to something else. The best skin care products are made with natural ingredients. Look for a formula with Aloe Vera and vitamin E for a great complexion. You want a skin care line that keeps you looking your best, while feeling great on your skin. Cleansers and creams shouldn’t burn or sting. Depending on your skin type, you may find that formulas that contain alcohol can actually aggravate your problem. So do your homework beforehand. If you have a specific problem like acne or sun damage, you will want to find a skin care line that focuses on your problem areas. Benzyl peroxide has been known to work wonders on acne, while alpha-hydroxy helps improve the appearance of wrinkles or sun damage.
If you have dry skin, you will want to find a formula that helps replenish the moisture in your face. Products made with Aloe Vera and Vitamin E are particularly good at this. Look for skin care lines that come in a cream or a lotion form. A good humidifier used at night may also help improve your complexion. Always remember that excess washing can actually dry your face out further, so limit your washings to once or twice a day.
If you are plagued by oily skin, you may find that acne is a major problem for you. Here again excess washing can aggravate the problem, so limit washings to once or twice a day. Follow up your skin care routine with a quality astringent or toner. This will help control the amount of oil on your face, and reduce the number of breakouts.
Combination skin can be a tricky situation. You have patches of dry skin as well as oilier regions. Look for a formula that is specifically designed for your type of skin. Oil absorbing masks applied to the T-zone (your forehead, nose, and chin) once a week will help control oil and breakouts.
No matter what type of skin you have, you should have no trouble finding a skin care line to suite your needs. The key is to understand what different ingredients do. Research anything that you don’t understand- and don’t be fooled into thinking that a product has to be expensive to work. Some of the best products on the market cost less than $10 dollars a bottle!
Ellen Kennedy is a freelance health writer and contributing author to http://www.fixoilyskin.info ? a site that provides free skin care information and tips.
Written by admin · Filed Under Beauty
You can consider free ecards as being the same thing as normally greetings cards. The difference is that an ecard is an electronic card. The advantage of this ecrads is that you can send them very fast and easy to anyone who has a computer connected to the Internet. So free ecards became a popular way for people to send their greetings to their friends fast and easy. You can also easily promote your business trough free ecards.
The process is not complicated at all because the majority of sites from where you can send free ecards will explain very well what you are supposed to do. There are some system requirements for most sites to function well on your computer. Usually it’s necessary at least Windows 95 or windows 98. If you don’t know what system you are using you can always verify it by pressing the start button on you left bottom corner your screen. The version of windows should be displayed on the left side of the pop up menu.
You can find millions of free ecards over the Internet. You can find sites that are specialized on this matter and there re also companies that offer free ecards as a bonus for their service. Usually websites specialized on ecards demand some kind of member affiliation. The affiliation is usually free. If it costs something then you’ll probably be able to choose from a larger selection of cards that you might not find on the free ecards market.
Free ecards used by some companies in addition to their services are a kind of thank you for choosing them for your needs. But it’s also a method to drag you deeper in to their website. This is a very easy and invovative way to advertise a website. So in the end you get to see a website, you discover many things about the company and you can send a free ecard just because you visited it. All this is great because it can be done from your home or your office.
So when you see such an easy way to send greetings to your friends or family you should try it. You don’t spend a cent and you can announce someone that means something to you that you care about him.
http://www.greetingmilitary.com is a website with free digital greeting cards for military personnel, both active and retired and for the general public that love military. And, 99% of these cards are military in nature. You only need to register to be a member and the registration is also free.
"It’s not what you eat, it’s what’s eating you that counts."
Before we talk about food, the most important nutrients we put in our bodies are air and water. Forget about air if you live in Los Angeles, or now Kona, it’s bad there. Also pure tap water is now next to impossible to find in most cities. Even in beautiful Hawaii most people drink purified or filtered water. Our bodies being a high percent of water (about 75%) it becomes imperative to not drink polluted or chlorinated water. By adding chlorine in water we are attempting to purify it, maybe from some bacteria, but we don’t take out any of the toxic chemicals that end up in our water source. Besides, chlorine has been linked with heart disease and who knows how long term use may affect our health. Boiling water only kills some bacteria, it makes more sense to get a good water filter, because much of the bottled water is questionable. Well there is smart water, there are new water products in the market with treated water, usually it has been ionized, or chemically altered, the best one I know is Angel FIre water, from New Mexico, Hi guys.
FAT
We are all aware of the fat revolution; Battle of the Bulge. Even my fifteen year old daughter reads all the label to see how much fat or other junk is in the products we buy. She has now decided to be a vegan, and so I have the opportunity to teach and remember why I became a vegitarian once myself.
We know that it’s eating the wrong kind of fat that can hurt the immune system and put that extra fat on our body. For many years we thought that it leads to heart disease as well. There is some new research that heart disease is more linked to stress than to fat consumption. Well maybe moderate amounts of fat, are ok. Most doctors are still telling us to cut down fat anyway, both the saturated (meats and milk products) as well as other fats and Polyunsaturated (oils) fats.
Saturated fats are; chicken, beef, lamb, pork, duck and milk products. You want to be able to reduce these high-fat foods and modify your favorite recipes. Especially if you eat them more than three times a month. A good number is to keep fat at about 15 or 20% of your diet (Good fats are better).
Most people are making an effort to cut saturated fat in their diets by reducing the eating of meat, taking the skin off chicken, whole milk is almost eliminated, most people that drink milk are using 2%, I recommend cutting out dairy products all together and going into soy, or almond milk. Cut down on butter, never use margarine, vegetable shortening, and all products made with tropical oils or partially hydrogenated oils, these are not any good for human consumption. Read the labels they are in lot’s of stuff you buy.
Polyunsaturated oils are not that good for us either but less harmful they are; safflower, sunflower, corn, soy, but especially avoid cottonseed oil, it’s downright toxic. These oils are unstable and many experts feel they react with oxygen and can damage DNA and cell membranes. Especially hazardous are the solid vegetable shortening, butter is better than margarine, but we should try to eliminate these from the diet for optimal health. Hydrogenated oils are in lots of products as well, these are toxic to our cardiovascular system and should be eliminated as well.
Unsaturated fatty acids when heated form TFA’s or Trans-Fatty-Acids. Many doctors believe this damages the body at the hormonal level as well as our natural immune system.
I have always loved olive oil as my oil of choice and it turns out that monounsaturated oils are the best for the body; that includes virgin olive oil, canola, peanut and avocado. These oils can help reduce the bad cholesterol in the body as well. Olive oil being the best and it’s best use is raw, in salad dressings, or to dip your bread into. Another good fat we can increase the consumption of is Omega 3 (fatty acid) by eating the appropriate fish such as; Tuna (Yellow or blue fin), sardines, mackerel, herring and salmon, salmon having the most oil. Other great sources which many people are taking now are hemp or flax oil, or flax meal, a good source I prefer to get the seeds and powder them as oils can go rancid.
CARBOHYDRATES
We have heard all these theories of weight loss, stop carbos they are the enemy, eat all proteins, the blood type diet, eat less, eat more, it’s confusing. It seems every few years we see a new diet for weight loss. I personally have tried many diets, not for loosing weight but to experience them first hand. Carbo’s are still a great food for clean burning fuel in the body and especially good for athletes. Carbos are only fattening if you’re not burning enough calories, as we know that fat and carbos burn clean. It’s only protein that does not burn clean, it actually creates toxic residue, see below. For athletes to get the benefits from carbo-loading you need to carbo-starve for three days first, then carbo-load for three days before a competition.
PROTEIN
We need protein to grow, maintain and repair our tissues. Very few people actually don’t eat enough protein, quite the contrary, most people in modern society eat too much protein. Because of the complex molecules, protein is harder to digest. The essential nutrients cannot be duplicated by the body nor found in other foods these key components are the amino acids (see next article).
Most people still rely on animal products for protein such as: meat, chicken, fish, and milk or it’s products. These however are not as good an energy source for the body. Primarily because it’s hard to digest and worse it actually creates toxic residue, in the form of nitrogen, which can irritate the immune system. Also another waste product called ammonia, a very toxic substance. Because it is so toxic, the body protects itself by turning the ammonia into urea, which is then carried to the kidneys and excreted. Balance is the key, to get enough protein so that your body has enough for repair and growth, but not so much that it’s overburdened with trying to eliminate the excess and overworking the digestive system. All this extra effort can lead to your body to actually having less energy, more toxins and overall a weaker system.
Some good vegetable sources of protein are; beans, grains, seeds and some nuts at times spouts can give amino acids or even a product called Dr. Braggs Amino acids. The difference between animal and vegetable sources is that meat is very concentrated, whereas the vegetable sources have lots of edible starch and fiber. Another important component for a well functioning digestive system, fiber is one of the things too much meat eating is lacking. We need that roughage for a better functioning colon.
How much protein does the body need? We have all heard many approaches to this and if we take the information from the Blood Type Diet what type of protein you eat is also important. Most doctors say from 4 to 6 ounces a day is plenty. Some cultures do fine on less. For some diabetics they recommend 4 ounces per meal. I think you should feel it out for yourself. Some vegetarians say you don’t need animal protein at all. If you are a vegetarian and your body works great, well then great. However I was a vegetarian for fifteen years, now I eat some fish and occasionally organic, buffalo or eggs you just have to feel it out I sometimes saw some very unhealthy vegetarians so you need some information. There is also information that says that you can’t get all the amino acids from vegetable sources. I don’t really know myself for sure, but again, there is lot’s of confusion on that subject. Once again the key is try something and see how you feel. One meal a day with protein seems to be the recommendation, according to most. They key for most bodies is to increase vegetable and grain intake and reduce animal protein.
Grains and beans are a great source of fiber and protein. It’s always a good idea to get organic foods, and hormone free meats, what they put in their feed and inject into them these days is scarry.
Nuts and seeds, like almonds and sunflower seeds, are great sources of vegetable protein, they do have some fat (mostly polyunsaturated) so moderation is still important. My yoga teacher once said only eat a handful of nuts or seeds a day. In fact there is a theory that you should always eat only when hungry as well as eat less and more often. Once again try some of these on your own body, and see how you feel.
Soybeans have the most protein as well as significant amounts of polyunsaturated fat. Soy protein is not only made into tofu, but all kinds of products. I personally feel we overdid the soy bean revolution. Also make sure you get organic. Everyone replaced meat with tofu when we where vegetarians. I didn’t think it was that great of a food not having much roughage and being high in fat. Many people feel it’s a great source of protein, there is cheese, tempeh, yogurt, milk, wieners, burgers and lunch meats made from soy now. Most health food stores carry these products. There may be great health benefits to soy that is just coming to light (I quote Dr. Weil). “Two of the best known soy phytoestrogens -genistein and daidzein-are now being explored for their ability to moderate human hormonal imbalances.”
Eggs are a good source of protein, just don’t overeat them either. Get fertile natural range fed chickens that scratch on the earth to get their minerals, and no hormones please. Avoid raw eggs, there is salmonella in them quite often. Eat eggs once or twice a week, if you are going to eat them, not daily.
To summarize eat less protein. Begin to replace animal protein in the diet with fish, vegetable and soy products. Eat more vegetables and create meals that have smaller servings of animal proteins. Eat more whole grains, legumes and products made from whole grains the best breads are sprouted breads, like bible bread, because in sprouting the seeds they become more digestible and less alergetic. Eat more fruit, yogurt and raw juices. Reduce your calorie intake by eliminating high-fat foods, canned sodas are slow death, the diet kind the worse. Variety is clearly important, eating the same foods all the time will not give you the different nutrients a varied diet can give.
Do not use polyunsaturated vegetable oils for cooking. Use only good quality olive oil. Cut out cotton seed oil, palm oils, margarine, vegetable shortening, or partially hydrogenated oils (trans-fatty acids). Read the labels, they put some of this stuff in all kinds of foods, keep it simple and natural.
Eat more omega-3 fatty acids by eating the right fish (Salmon and Tuna) and by adding hemp seeds or flax seeds to your diet.
Much of this information is readily available in most books on nutrition, just remember don’t be fanatical, it’s more important to enjoy life and realize we have eaten junk food for many years. Getting off that is difficult, take it easy, don’t shock yourself and consult with your doctor. The body can do wonders with poor eating and bad food, but only so long.
VITAMINS
Taking vitamins is another controversial subject, however most doctors now recommend vitamins, and the best are the natural source vitamins. One key is taking them at the right time and with the right foods. To most experts vitamins are our insurance program as well as our protection from toxins, and heavy metals, as well as most vegetables now have low nutrient level due to spraying, chemical fertilizers and high tech. breeding systems. If you can find liquid, or sublingual vitamins they are said to be the best, see Dr. Robert Young’s (Ph Miracle) vitamins and supper greens.
A real simple vitamin program suggested by Dr. Weil (buy his book “Spontaneous Healing”).
At breakfast: Take I,000-2,000 milligrams of vitamin C and 25,000 IU of natural beta carotene.
At lunch: Take 400-800 IU of natural vitamin E and 200-300 micrograms of selenium.
At dinner: Take 1,000-2,000 milligrams of vitamin C.
At bedtime take another 1,000 to 2,000 milligrams of vitamin C
To summarize what to do about toxins in foods:
Reduce the percentage of processed foods in your diet and to choose only products made without artificial additives. Cut down the consumption of meat products and buy products certified to be free of drugs and hormones. Especially poultry, they are loaded with toxins, growth hormones and antibiotics.
Reduce eating foods known to contain natural toxins, such as black pepper, celery, alfalfa sprouts, peanuts and some commercial mushrooms.
Eat a varied diet rather than eating the same foods every week.
Wash and peel fruits and vegetables especially if they are not organically grown. Better yet buy organic when you can.
Attempt to buy only organically produced apples, peaches, grapes, raisins, oranges, strawberries, lettuce, celery, carrots, corn, green beans, soy beans, potatoes and wheat flour. These products tend to be sprayed worse than the rest of the foods and because they are grown in large numbers are usually also chemically fertilized.
Grow a small garden, sprout seeds or look for sources of local organic produce farmers markets are everywhere now. A lot more vegetables are available in health food stores and even some major chains, now carry organic foods.
Stop eating fast and deep fried, processed foods, preservatives, chemical dyes and artificial sweeteners.
DRUGS, & COSMETICS
Remember what you put on your body is absorbed into your skin. Shampoos, make- up, creams and all the other drugs we take can have long term detrimental side affects to our health. This includes prescription as well as illegal drugs. Know what you are taking or putting on your skin.
Most doctors use drugs to treat disease, it’s all well and good and we are lucky to have some of these drugs. However, it’s important to be well informed of any drug you are taking as well as to look at the alternatives; such as herbs, Chinese medicine as well as naturapathy, or homeopathy. One of the widest use of drugs is in athletics, steroid use is very dangerous and there is enough research out that proves this.
It’s easy to get confused with so much information on nutrition, my intention is to make the reader aware of substances that can help you heal and resist the effects of toxins, stress, and aging in your body. As well as help you feel, perform better and improve the quality of your life. There is lot’s to learn and we are discovering more powerful nutrients to help us every day. One of the most revolutionary products out is deer antler extract or Igf1 which is a pre-cursor to HGH (Human Growth Hormone) which I don’t recommend without a professional doctor treating you. Deer antler not new, the Chinese have been using it for thousands of years as a tonic. It’s sexual powers are just one facet, it actually contains all the amino acids, as well as promoting the human growth hormone (HGH) which can get our metabolism on track again. It’s good for increasing muscle mass, reducing fat, building new cell tissue, giving a boost to our immune system, natural anti- inflammatory, good for arthritis and much, much more.
Being Mexican I have always eaten lots of onions, chiles and garlic. Eating more garlic, onions and ginger; not only help the food taste better, the benefits; like lowering cholesterol and blood pressure, blood clotting, antioxidants, aiding digestion are well known. There are more benefits coming out every day. We have not done much research with ginger in the states, but it is a great tonic as well and used very extensively in the Asian cooking.
If you drink coffee eat something with it, it’s very damaging on an empty stomach. It can make your adrenals work extra. You can buy organic as well and on some days, switch to green tea, or herbal teas.
If you have been exposed to toxins or feel you have a high toxic overload. Take milk thistle to help your body recover, as well as the suggested vitamin program of Dr. Weil.
If you are generally weak or lacking energy, or you catch all the bugs that come around. Try a cleansing diet, work out, walk more, or see a specialist and find out why you have low energy. Experiment with Siberian ginseng, Dong Quai or cordyceps, change your diet. Give your body a break, try a fast by eating only raw foods one day a week, come off gently with soup. Move into raw juice fasting, or the master cleanser diet. Read some books, experiment with your body. Not all bodies are the same we each must find the perfect eating system for our needs.
This is all very simple and can be implemented into your lifestyle very easy, it just takes desire, remember don’t get fanatical and go easy. Your body will go into shock if you jump into fasting too fast. Consult with your doctor, get informed have fun.
This is not an article to prescribe or diagnose any disease. Eating is the natural way to take good care of your body. Much of this information is suggested by Dr. Andrew Weil (buy his book “Spontaneous Healing”) and John MacDougal MD. and not intended as medical advice.
One of Dr. Weils’ best sayings is “Do not seek help from a conventional doctor for a condition that conventional medicine cannot treat, and do not rely on an alternative provider for a condition that conventional medicine can manage well”.
As my good friend Dr. Bruce Parker says, “It’s not what you eat, but what’s eating you that counts”.
For more information or other articles see http://www.molinamassage.com
Othon has been involved in the health field as a massage therapist, manual therapist and personal trainer for over thirty five years. He was one of the first therapist to teach in the University of Hawaii and had one of the first licensed massage schools in Hawaii. He has studied with some of the top doctors and healers of our times. Like The Touch for Health foundation, Bernard Jensen DC., John Christopher ND., Everts Loomis MD., Ram Dass, Tony Robins, Rolling Thunder, and many more to list here. His specialty is treating sports injuries, back problems, and teaching others how to improve their health or athletic competition using nutrition and other fitness technologies.
Some of his specialties are Kinesiology, Polarity therapy, Reflexology, Iridology, Nutrition, herbs, Native American Indian Medicine, Neuro-Lynguistics and sports medicine with an emphasis in body mechanics. He has been an athlete and runner all his life, and competed in many triathlons, 5k’s, 10k’s and marathons. Competing at an elite level gave him the experience to help train…
How To Make Your Own Baby Food
by: Jennifer Shircel
Those little containers of baby food sure are expensive once you start totaling up how much you use in a day. Now you are probably wondering how you could possibly save money on baby food (besides those $.25 coupons). Well, you can’t save money on those little containers, but you can on baby food itself. How? Make it yourself! It’s really not as hard as you think. Do a search on the internet for “homemade baby food” and you’ll find tons of recipes on how to make just about anything perfect for your little one.
Let me tell you how easy it can be to make your own baby food. Yes, it takes a bit of time, but knowing that you’re giving your baby the best food for him (uh huh, better than the baby food you buy in the store) and saving some money at the same time it is all worth it! So, here we go
The best thing to do is to buy fresh fruits and veggies, but the next best is frozen. Canned foods usually have too much sodium or preservatives in them. Before we begin, there are very important rules to follow when you’re cooking the foods on your own, but you’ll learn those from specific recipe requirements. Besides bananas and melons, most foods need to be cooked or steamed first. Steaming is the best choice for preparing your baby food. You’ll need to steam the foods until they are nice and soft which can bary anywhere from 15-25 minutes. Once they are done, they are placed into a blender to be pureed (some foods will need to be peeled before they are pureed). When they’ve been pureed, you will either use fresh water or the water left over from being steamed to mix with the pureed food to make it thinner for the baby to eat. Once you have the food ready, it is poured into ice cube trays (which are easiest) and then frozen. When the cubes are completely frozen they can be stored in zip lock bags until they are ready to be served.
Also note that there are specific cooking rules for all the foods, so be sure to follow all recipes thoroughly. Try making some baby food yourself. If you don’t want to do it solely, try just preparing some homemade fruits or desserts for your little one.
For more money saving tips, visit us at www.MomOnABudget.com.
About The Author
Jennifer Shircel is the owner of www.MomOnABudget.com - an excellent resource for moms. MomOnABudget offers many money saving tips, work at home ideas, quick easy recipes, how to decorate on a budget and so much more!
Why is it so difficult to hold steadfast to a commitment to the very thing we desire? I’m sure you’ve had the experience of challenging your client with something to do, or to be, in service of moving them closer to their heart’s desire. As you reconvene again and again, you note that the client can’t seem to stay committed to the steps that will realize their dreams. Certainly the age-old response is fear–but perhaps there is more going on.
Frankly, sometimes I can feel like a nag, repeating that there isn’t anything crueler than wanting, desiring, or yearning for something–and then not giving to yourself. It’s like being really thirsty and not giving yourself water. Denying the self the very thing that gives life joy is a form of spiritual starvation. It’s disheartening to watch the spirit die at the hand of its human host.
I’ve been pondering what causes a lack of consistency in commitment to follow-through and achievement of desired results. It is not lack of effort on our clients’ parts. Consistent commitment necessitates a depth of patience that our Western culture does not appreciate or support. We are a multi-tasking world. We are valued, employed, and acknowledged for our ability to do more than two things at the same time. The multi-tasker is honored and revered and wears their ability as a badge of honor, proud and ready to go. If we are so good at doing so much at the same time, what gets in our clients’ way of staying true to those things they are trying to change?
In creating ourselves as master doers, we forgo the one thing needed for spiritual development–patience. Patience is not the art of waiting. It is the art of mindfulness, of slowing down to take in what is happening inside of our clients right now. Patience pauses to be with self. It is a focus of awareness centered in relationship with the current event. Patience puts the being in front of the doing.
Patience with pause is mindfulness. Mindfulness means being full with one’s mind on one thing. There is no way to be "full of mind" with many things simultaneously. Neither our minds nor our hearts can hold ten things at once with equal commitment to awareness let alone the lessons from that awareness that is occurring. We multi-task for rapid results, and in that energy we become anxious, we breathe faster; hyperventilating our precious system. Mindfulness is not devoid of results, but it doesn’t try to create results before they are due to arrive. Mindfulness teaches us to commit ourselves to the moment, to the process, and to enjoy the ride. When we take pause for mindfulness, we experience life rather than race it.
The truth is that all of us are already exhibiting commitment to something right now. In examining their habits created by fear, our clients already have evidence for their ability to commit, and thus manifest. We do know how to commit. The difference lies between making a conscious commitment and unconscious one.
An unconscious commitment is one chosen without a pause for consideration or mindfulness. Unconscious choice is a default choice. We don’t tend to take stock of the impact it will have, and only review its impact in hindsight. An unconscious default choice may work for your clients, but may not have the power to propel them to their desired result. You’ve heard the adage "It’s not about the end result, it’s about the journey." In committing by default, clients are literally absent-minded in doing what they always do–of course it feels easy and effortless, but that limited amount of effort can instigate a craving for more of something different. Like many of us, they have forgotten the "pause of patience" as part of the equation.
A conscious commitment is actively and powerfully chosen to align with the client’s deep soul aspirations. A conscious commitment considers the impact of the intention and the desired results, and envisions the person they desire and need to become. The difference between choosing default behaviors and ones that truly serve us is the level of consciousness applied in the choosing. The reason that being consistent to any practice we wish to become a habit feels more difficult is that in the conscious choice we focus (albeit obsessively sometimes) on the results, rather than on the experience itself.
What happens to our patience as we grow up? Isn’t that one the basic lines we heard from our parents ? to be patient. Granted it was mainly used in relationship to our waiting for them. Yet, I suspect that many of our educational and corporate institutions have trained us well to be multi-tasking fools, and in a Pavlovian manner have rewarded us for thinking on our feet, being first with a solution to a problem, and responding quickly to downloadable requests. We want fast solutions to old problems. We love "Five Principles to?," "One-minute managers?," and "Seven laws of?" kinds of answers to our dizzy chaotic lives. We want to believe that the answer is out there, perhaps in a 1- 3-5 or 7 easy and quick formulaic format. Again and again we are encouraged to move away from patience and to embrace frenzy packaged to look like speedy results. I know when I first started seeing all the programs, books and approaches that offered that 1,3,5-7 step solutions I thought they knew something I didn’t. Not!
I don’t care how many diets I’ve been on what has been true will always be true: calories in versus calories out ? is the bottom line to dropping those pounds. No amount out a six week boot camp or a five easy meal plan is going to change that. The fact remains that if I want to shrink my behind I’ve got to be consistent to my plan. Being patient with my process commitments me to the process as well as the result. Whether I like to admit it or not I was committed to gaining weight even if it was an unconscious commitment. Only commitment to consistency will change the direction of my rear!
There is little permission in our work culture for a person to take thoughtful time in responding to a request; accordingly, our clients give themselves little permission for results to occur over time, nor moments to enjoy their process. Instead they become easily irritated at the process and at slow-to-show results, which invariably poisons their commitment. We are in the Blackberry age–as long as you have thumbs, emails are sent from wherever, whenever. We are an on demand world. At a monthly event created to give corporate executives a place for spaciousness and pause, I ran into a gentleman emailing on his Blackberry. When I asked why he was emailing during this event, he answered, "I got an email while in the bathroom that said, ‘I know you have your Blackberry, so get back to me now!""
I must admit that when I first began teaching coaching courses we had an exercise called "be with the corner" that drove me crazy! It was just a corner of a room, what the heck was there to "be" with? Over time, it became clear that there was nothing and everything to be with. I was in such a hurry to get to my future as a trainer and to learn the next set of skills that would ensure my mastery that I was missing the present moment.
Many clients are missing their presence in the present moment. When does our action driving coaching help them speed pass this thing called life? When we hold clients accountable, what are we really asking them to commit to? Are we asking them solely to complete a task, or to commit to the process and learning of the task? When we ask what they are learning, how much reflection does that awareness actually evoke from them? And let’s be honest, are we pushing for results to quantify our skill?
Clients want to be committed and to stay committed. After all, it’s why they hired us. Our listening must include when it’s time to s-l-o-w down; notice if what they are doing is working, and if not get committed to something and as be consistent with it. Results may not come on their timetable, or in exactly the way they envision–but success will come. As we all learn to slow the pace and to see what we really feel, believe, see, and notice, we come to know ourselves more fully. Consistent commitment causes change. Consistency is the deliverer of our clients’ desires; it’s foundational to manifestation.
Coaches would be well suited to pause and reflect as they listen to clients’ replies to powerful questions, regardless of how profound the next question to be asked. Clients too can be shown the power of pause before they answer inquiries; allowing them to absorb the question rather than reacting to it with an efficient response.
Endless mysteries are already unfolding; "patience pause" allows our clients to bare witness to them, experience them and to be changed by them.
Melanie DewBerry-Jones is a twice certified coach and a Senior Trainer for the leading coaching school, the Coaches Training Institute (CTI). She is a co-founder and regular contributor to Choice magazine, the first magazine for the coaching industry. Melanie is a speaker, storyteller, and member of the National Speakers Association.
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